March 29, 2009

We spent the afternoon in Madison for my great-niece's first birthday. She was so adorable! I didn't think that I was going to be able to celebrate it with them because of the time frame of recovery. This was one nice thing about having the surgery delayed!

My niece had made an amazing looking cake for the occasion. I think she said it was Blackberry Jam cake with White Chocolate/Cream cheese frosting. I had a token bite and it was really good. I'm glad I had a plan going in to the party to just have one bite. It would have been truly easy to throw that out the window! (not the cake, just the plan! lol!)

March 27, 2009

Romans 8 NIV

Life Through the Spirit (copied and pasted from http://www.ibsstl.org/)

¹Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,^{[a] 2}because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. ³For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature,^[b] God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.^[c] And so he condemned sin in sinful man,^{[d] 4}in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.

⁵Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶The mind of sinful man^[e] is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; ⁷the sinful mind^[f] is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. ⁸Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

⁹You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. ¹⁰But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. ¹¹And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

¹²Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. ¹³For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, ¹⁴because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. ¹⁵For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.^[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,^[h] Father." ¹⁶The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. ¹⁷Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Future Glory

¹⁸I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. ²⁰For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹that^[i] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

²²We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? ²⁵But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

More Than Conquerors

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,^[j] who^[k] have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."^{[l] 37}No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

March 23, 2009

I woke up today feeling a little blue about everything. Fortunately, I am able to update some information today. The nurse called this morning, and gladly announced that my polyp was a normal polyp and not cancerous. I was glad to hear that since we didn't think it was! She seemed like she was going to hang up the phone, so I quickly asked her what the plan was. She was confused, as the location is a general surgery location as well as a Center of Excellence for Bariatric surgery location. When I explained that my surgery that had been scheduled for tomorrow was postponed because of this non-cancerous polyp, she said she would get more information from the surgeon. She called me back around noon, and let me know that my surgeon would like to get another look at the inside of my stomach in 4 weeks, (which is much better than the 12 weeks that she originally thought it was going to be!). If everything still looks good at that point, then we can reschedule my surgery. So, I am now scheduled for my next endoscopy on April 15th.

March 22, 2009

Friday evening and Saturday morning, I strayed off my diet plan. I hung out in Nicole's apartment and I ended up snacking on some SunChips and a little bit of vanilla ice cream. Saturday, she and I went to Perkins breakfast/lunch. I traded the potatoes for some applesauce, but I still ate the pancakes. Obviously, it wasn't a horrible binge or anything ... but you would not believe how yucky my stomach felt! It is so weird to me. I was told that my body would eventually react that way, but I don't think I really believed it. I think that I feel a bit relieved to know that I like my new way of eating more than my old way of eating!

March 18, 2009

Well, unfortunately, the results of my endoscopy is delaying my surgery. There were some unusual "bumps" in the lining of my stomach that my surgeon has biopsied. I have to wait a few days to hear about those results. It is possible that I will have to have some sort of treatment for those, and then re-check to see how they look. It is possible that I will have to have part of my stomach actually removed when they do the surgery. As I know more ... I will let you all know more.

I am bummed, but I am glad that the doctors are being careful. Most importantly, I believe that God is in control and that is all that matters.

March 17, 2009

Last night I went to my first support group meeting. Our topic last night was Head Hunger vs. Physical Hunger. I had talked many times about emotional eating before, but this was the first time that I heard anyone talk about it in these terms. Physical hunger was described as the kind of hunger that is satiated with nutritious food and we only eat to satisfy that need. Head hunger was described as the brain tricking the body into thinking that we are hungry, but not anything will do. Head hunger usually involves major cravings that can only be satisfied by the food that is being craved. It can feel physical, but if we pause and think about if it is real or not, we can tell the difference. Emotional eating, on the other hand, does not necessarily mean you are hungry. Any emotion will be a good excuse to eat ... sad, angry, bored, even happy. I found the topic to be very interesting. I had found it easy when I have felt head hunger before to give into that impulse, because I believed I was hungry. Actually, I hate meal planning, because I never know what I am going to feel like eating. lol! I guess most of my eating has been planned around my head hunger instead of physical hunger.

I enjoyed meeting people who truly understand and want to take steps to improve their health. I have stayed away from support groups because it seemed like a place that could be more of a pity party than a healthy group of support. I have heard stories from others that said that the groups that they have tried were filled with people who tried to justify their actions rather than truly want to change. I don't know if it was fair to stay away because of other peoples observations, but regardless this group was good for me.

March 13, 2009

So, I got a call from the nurse today regarding all those tests yesterday. That is never a good sign! They are putting me on antibiotics for a bladder infections, except I don't have a bladder infection. My numbers were in the normal range, but on the high side of the normal range. So, just to make sure I am on meds for 5 days. I had to laugh, because the pharmacist said to make sure that I didn't ingest anything with calcium, iron, or ALUMINUM an hour before and after! lol! What do we injest that has aluminum? Someone please tell me so I will stop doing such a thing!

I also have to have an endoscopy on Wednesday morning. I had some sort of irregularity show up on the upper G.I. and they want to look. They are suspecting some type of inflammation or polyps. I was kind of worried that this could delay my surgery, but my regular doctor doesn't think that is the case. (I had to talk to her today to get the prescription!). If there is polyps, I guess they will remove them immediately. So, that is good ... I guess.

My sweet Nicole is giving up a sleeping in morning on her spring break to get me to the hospital by 6:30 am. That is truly love! She really takes great care of me, and I appreciate her so much!!!! :)

March 12, 2009

Today was pre-op lab work and class day. I was at the hospital from 7:15 am until 4:30 pm today ... and I "dragged" Steve along with me all day! (He was great actually ... only fell asleep once! ;))

First I had blood work drawn. It was shocking the number of vials that they needed! It was at least 12 vials! Then they wanted me to pee in a cup. The only problem was that they didn't let me drink anything after midnight ... so that wasn't happening! lol! Then I had to go do a bunch of pulmonary tests. That involved breathing into a machine that would graph my lung capacity in a couple of different ways. The tech for that was really nice and we had a good time chatting! Then I had to get a chest x-ray and an upper G.I. test. After that test, I finally got to drink some water! It did the trick! ;) The final medical test for the day was an arterial blood draw, which is from the wrist. NOT my favorite, but also not the first time I have had that type.

Next was an appointment to talk to the money person at the clinic. Our insurance does cover this operation, but we needed to pay for a years worth of support group and personal trainer fees. $240 is definitely worth that! We put it on our health savings account card, so it was not painful!

After lunch, we had 3 classes. The first one was with the personal trainer. It was very interesting and informative. I look forward to working with him! The second class was with a nurse who explained the surgery and recovery aspects very well. It was great for Steve to be able to hear facts. So many people like to tell the stories of what they have heard, and quite frankly sometimes is is complete misinformation. The third class was a detailed description of how our diet will progress over time and what we can expect. This was also helpful for Steve, because he does almost all of our grocery shopping!

It was a long day, but a good one! :)

March 10, 2009

Two weeks from today is as one friend put it, "Jenni's Transformation Day." lol! These last two weeks went pretty quickly, so I imagine that the next two will go fast as well.

This afternoon I had a sudden onset of a really sore throat. My kids have had similar viruses recently, so I guess I should have known! I would really appreciate your prayers about this. I would be really crushed if my surgery got delayed by an illness!

March 5, 2009

Yesterday was a hard day. I was really craving chocolate, cookies, ice cream ... pretty much everything I need to avoid right now, (well and lets face it ... pretty much forever). I have stayed strong, but the temptation to just have a little is always there. Unfortunately, just a little is a very difficult thing for me right now. I have a plan for how I am going to handle this after surgery. (Obviously, I mean for when I am back to eating "normal" foods again). When I have a craving, I will occasionally have a bite of something. If I have a lot of something, there will be significant consequences in the nature of getting sick that I do not want to deal with! Steve, has already expressed willingness to share with me my token one bite when it is something that I really like. I appreciate him!