Sleep would be good!

The last several nights, I am only getting about 5 hours of sleep a night. I am getting up and walking around, but my back is still very sore. My erector spinae group (muscle that keep spine erect in sitting and standing positions) are the problem! Last night at 3 am, Steve flipped my mattress. That did help, but I have got to start getting better sleep!

The soreness factor...

Everything is starting to heal up, but I am still so sore. I have an abdominal bind that I can wear that does help support my muscles. I will definitely being wearing it for awhile, especially when I am working out and probably even working. I am struggling with it right now though ... I seem to swallow a lot of air and the bind does not make gas pain feel better! I am really working on that swallowing air thing, but ... I just don't know what my problem is with that!

I have had a very tough week emotionally. I have a friend in the hospital and she is suffering a lot. Bethany left for college and I couldn't go with. (She is 8 hours away!). On the up-side, Nicole is here to help and she is wonderful. Also, I can't emotional eat ... so that is a good thing! ;)

More IV fluids and some real food!

I went in this morning and my NP decided that some more fluids would be a good idea. My numbers from my blood draw today weren't bad, but she wanted to give me some extra boost. I am only drinking about 30 oz a day right now ... which is better than the end of last week, but is still not enough.

I have been watering down my propel, which helped cut the sweetness to a tolerable level. My sister-in-law, Teri, suggested it and it has been working out great. I got lots of great suggestions from my friends on facebook, so that was awesome.

Today I am able to start eating protein in its normal form. It was so exciting! :) So, I had a small part of a cheeseburger (no bun). I have to make sure I chew it really well, but it tasted so much better than pureed chicken!

IV fluids

Yesterday I was at the hospital for a few hours. I got very dehydrated and needed some IV fluids to get it under control. I tried the propel, as suggested, because of the electrolytes that it has. I am drinking as much as my pouch will allow me, but I have to say that I wish these drinks weren't so sweet! I am currently up, and it is 3:13 am and I am drinking some tea. Tea is the only thing that I drink that helps with the nausea part. I will be going back to see my NP for another check and possibly a couple more bags of fluid on Monday.

Fruit2O Essentials

Does anyone know if they add carbonation to this water? I know that Fruit2O is on my allowed list, but there was something not quite right with the water I drank last night. I will probably just go get some Propel, but I was wondering if anyone knew. It doesn't say on the website.

Just for explanation, after awhile it had a lot of mini-bubbles all over the edges. Steve put the cover on it and shook it when we noticed that and lots of bubble showed up. I am not supposed to have any carbonation, so it made us very nervous. I had extra trouble with burping last night. I can't tell you how uncomfortable that is for my little pouch!

Dietary changes

So, even last night I was convinced that I would never eat pureed meat. I fully planned on just sticking with the eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese and refried beans. Tonight, I realized that after last night and today, that my lactose intolerance is not appreciating that diet. So, I had pureed chicken with a little bit of fat-free gravy. Texture-wise ... not my favorite! However, if I pretend that it's chicken flavored mashed potatoes its easier to handle. So, Steve and I came up with a new plan for the rest of this week and hopefully it will work. I think it's going to. I felt well enough to walk around the parking lot a little bit with Steve tonight. So, that is obviously progress! I also had a sugar-free popsicle tonight and it was heavenly! :)

Busy day ... started okay, ending yuck!

I went and saw my regular doctor today for a med check. I have been having some problems with difficulty in taking my anti-depressants and was looking for some help. Fortunately, my current med is in liquid form and it's not a concentrate. The liquid one that I was just taking required being mixed with 4 oz of water + the 2 oz of medication. It was vile tasting and I can't chug down that much liquid! I was hoping for a patch, but the only kind offered is not the type that I need. Taking 2 tsp. and that's it will be a much better option! She also checked out the one incision that I had open up and it is healing well. So that is a relief!

Steve took me to my first post-op support group meeting tonight. It was really great talking over some of the things that I am dealing with that other have dealt with. It is a huge relief to know that with time, the things I am struggling with will get better! I connected with a couple of ladies who want to be facebook buddies so that is cool! It was good for Steve to see what is up so that he knows better how to be supportive of me.

The ride home, however, was awful. I got more and more nauseous. I finally got sick a little bit ago (intestinally) and it seems to be starting to ease up. I am lactose intolerant and the diet I am on right now is a bit difficult. Today I had yogurt and cottage cheese. I think that that combined with the car rides were tough on my system. After this week, I will be able to start eating proteins in its normal form and my diet will be a little easier to take. For now, I just have to figure out how to handle my diet without getting so sick.

I am trying to learn how to sip!

Yes, that is what I said! I am trying to learn how to sip, but I am confused because I always thought I did sip. In fact, I have finally at age 42 convinced my mom that its okay that it takes me longer than 20 minutes to finish a glass of water. One of the rules for my new little pouch of a stomach is no gulping. It causes discomfort and the air needs to get out ... yes, burping. I hate burping! I am trying to learn a better way, but so far its a struggle. I need a sipping coach!

:( not feeling good this morning ...

Taking my vitamins was not easy yesterday. It definitely upset my stomach somewhat. However, this morning I had a protein shake and I felt horrible afterwards. I need to contact my dietician and figure out why that happened. I am like a baby trying to learn what is okay and what isn't.

Things are looking up!

I have been feeling so lousy that I haven't been on here for a couple of days. However, things are looking up and I have much to share!

This past Monday, I was allowed to start eating some real food again. My diet for a couple of weeks will be consisting of eggs, yogurt (without any fruit chunks), cottage cheese, and fat-free refried beans. I can have cheese if I chew it up very well, but I am not a big fan. (Yes, I do know that I live in Wisconsin! I am not a complete "traitor" though, I do like it melted on things!). ;) It is amazing the very tiny amount that I can eat though. I can eat about half of a scrambled egg. The other foods is probably about 2 Tbl. total. It takes me about a half and hour to eat that amount. Crazy, isn't it?!

Yesterday, I had my first post-op check. I got my drain removed. Yay! It hurt like the dickens to get it pulled out, but today I feel like a new woman! I was exhausted yesterday and truly uncomfortable still, but I woke up this morning able to move around with greater ease! The really exciting news for me is that since surgery, I have lost 10 lbs. So since the beginning of this process last fall, I have lost 60 lbs. That is so encouraging to me. I have struggled to lose weight for so long. I know that for some people they can just put their mind to it and lose. I am happy for them, but for me it has been a different experience.

Today, I am going to take my first shower since surgery! woohoo! ;) (No worries, I have been cleaning up ... it's just not the same!). If I have enough energy, Bethany and I are going to take a small walk around the back yard. I need to start building up strength again. It has been a long summer with 2 surgeries! I am starting my vitamins today, so hopefully that will help also. I will be taking a chewable multi-vitamin, Calcium with D, B-100 complex and vitamin B-12 (under my tongue type) for the rest of my life. The Calcium and B-100 I have to crush for the first month, but eventually will be able to swallow more normally. Pray for me about this, because I am a real gagger when it comes to vile tasting things!

Nicole is back in Madison and Steve is in Minneapolis (won't be home until late Saturday), so my Bethany is taking great care of me. I feel kind of bad about it because she should be having fun! It's summer, but at the same time it is nice to spend so much time with her before she head off to college. :)

I caved...

Well, I ended up taking the pain meds this morning. It is awful, but if I sip some warm water right afterwards it isn't as bad. The pain got really bad though. Unfortunately, I am still feeling ick. I am usually pretty tough with pain, but this time I am really needing help with the pain.

Nausea and on-call doctors

We just got off the phone with the on-call doctor because I am really struggling with the nausea. I stopped the pain meds this evening because they were making me so sick. The doctor says that I stopped them too early and that I have to take them. I can't do it. I will puke it up. I could barely keep in the last dose I had. I was hoping for help with the nausea, but he said there was nothing he could do. Steve ran to the pharmacy, (yes at 2 am), to get me some liquid Tylenol. If the pain is making me nauseous, then I will try that. I cannot handle the strong narcotics.

Pain and Nausea

The pain was really bad yesterday. I know the pain was at an increased level because my body had still not expelled the gas put into my body for surgery. That part is starting to feel better. However, the pain meds make me feel really sick. The sooner I can get off them, the better I will feel. My drainage tube is in a location that makes it hard for me to take a deep breath. So, I am definitely hopeful that it will be removed on Wednesday at my appt. with Dr. Wasco.

Last night was weird for me, (and I hope that this is something I can get over quickly), because whatever it was that Steve made for supper smelled really good. I don't really know how that even worked out that way with how I was feeling, but it did. I don't know what he made. I refused to look at it or even ask about it. Of course, it is silly of me to want everything to be easy for me. I certainly knew what I was getting myself into!

Home from the hospital today!

So, obviously, surgery happened this time. I appreciate all the prayers because it was obvious to me that God was working in my healing process. I am typically a slow healer and I had enough issues that no one thought I would be well enough to be at home today.

My diet at the moment is literally water, broth and sugar-free jello. I am liking the broth and the water the most. I can only handle about 2 T of the broth/or jello at a time. I don't feel hungry at all, so my weight should start dropping pretty quickly. I am being allowed to start pureed protein on Monday if I feel up to it. So, I'll let you know how that goes.

I think a nap sounds really good right now, so I am going to get on that! lol! I look forward to sharing this experience with you, now that I have something actually interesting to share!

August 2, 2009

Hopefully, today is the last waiting day. Tomorrow is the scheduled day for surgery, but after all the delays I feel foolish expecting it to happen.

There is a part of me that wishes that I could "pig-out" when I wanted to and not have it affect my weight or health. Sometimes I still think, what is the big deal about being fat. The addiction to food, especially sugars, is strong ... but with God, I am stronger!

I love you all and I am going to pursue health. :)